Welcome to AA, say your name and tell us why you’re here. This man, tall but slender, brown but caramel gradually stands to his feet low but subtle he says Hello. My name is Jamel, and I’m alcoholic, I came to change my life. We say, Hello Jamel, Welcome to AA. Felt it right on my left check, on my right check, on my clothes, in my soul. 12 eyes, 12 faces, 12 stories, I guess it was my turn. Hi. Um. . Hi. . . I’m Audrey. . . And I’m alcoholic. I don’t know why I’m here but I am. Once finished with introductions, glaze and powder donuts are offered to ease the process. Right about now the only thing that will ease the process is a drink, one final goodbye drink.
We resume the meeting to discuss how alcohol has hurt our lives and what we hope quitting will do for our lives. Only a few people really stuck out. Jamel, once again, this guy named Earl but really looked like a George and the AA council leader David Lancaster. Drinking caused Jamel to lose his fiancé. They were together since they both were 18 and thought it was something special so young and naïve, he said. He described eyes lost in a gaze at a woman that was to be his wife until one shot of vodka seduced his mind and when he awoke, he was groping the bottle, holding it like it was life or death, completely forgetting the rest. Lost his happiness, job, and future wife. The ire he felt for the bottle was undeniable. And, today he finds him-self sitting here reliving all over again. Earl and David lost some precious to them as well, Earl, a brother and David lost his twin brother Steven in a deadly car accident.
9pm: AA is finally over .I grab my coat and bag heading out that blinding white door towards the 4 train to the upper east side. Jamel looks like he going the right way. I put some pep in my step and try to catch up but not to swift, I don’t want him to think I’m stalking him.
(Chucking slightly) “Hello handsome, what’s the rush?
9pm: AA is finally over .I grab my coat and bag heading out that blinding white door towards the 4 train to the upper east side. Jamel looks like he going the right way. I put some pep in my step and try to catch up but not to swift, I don’t want him to think I’m stalking him.
(Chucking slightly) “Hello handsome, what’s the rush?
“-Oh…Hi, (hesitantly says) what’s up?”
“It’s Jamel right? I’m not sure if you remember but I’m Audrey, and I’m in the same AA as you.”
“Oh yeah, where you going? Are you going to the 4?
“Yeah, to Upper East Side, you?”
“Same, to 67th street.”
15minutes later on the 4 train
I’m not sure if this a compliment, but Jamel says to me,” Your cute for a alky”
“Oh, what’s that suppose to suppose to mean?”
“Well (wink wink) take how you want”
“ Eh, whatever Mr. Jamel. It was nice meeting you, this is my stop (smiling with a happy glow), see you next week.”
“-Wait. We basically going the same way, maybe we could go together next time. (Began to hand Audrey his phone number) See you later.”
Next Week Wednesday, 9pm:
I’m slowing coping, it’s been one week since I’ve had a drink. I even poured the little grey goose flask that I had laying around the house. I flushed the flask from my cookie jar, working desk and in my couch cushions.
I’m slowing coping, it’s been one week since I’ve had a drink. I even poured the little grey goose flask that I had laying around the house. I flushed the flask from my cookie jar, working desk and in my couch cushions.
“Audrey, you ready to go?”
Jamel and I have really been connecting since last week. I know we’ve met in an unexpected place but I think this could be something special. We were on the phone till about 4am like three times this week.
“Oh my gosh wait a second. I’m coming Jamel.”
Jamel was taking me to see this new movie, “A haunted house” just released and it’s suppose to be funny.
On the line waiting for the tickets
“-Audrey, um… you never actually shared why joined AA.”
Suddenly, I’m back in my mom’s hospital room. Juanita, my mom lays in the bed, cough and choking. Leukemia has taken hold of her body and she hardly any left to fight. My mom has went from beautiful thick jet black hair that no matter what the damage she did to it from perming it, cutting it, dying it, it was always beautiful…until leukemia came around.
(Eyes low and bloodshot, heading hurting, stumbling left foot over the right, totally intoxicated with out a care in the world) “You know Ma, you aren’t good for shit but this bottle, this bottle right here is doing me mighty-mighty fine… if I do say so my self.
“Audrey, now I know I haven’t been the best mother but I’ll be (cough) damned if I let you throw your self away for a few sips of booze, get your mind right and that whisky off your bottle or you won’t have a mother for to long.
“--I joined AA because drinking caused me to lose my mother.”
“I’m so sorry for your lost but I’m really happy you decided to do something about your drinking now.”
“…Yeah I guess... well it’s our turn. (Grabs Jamel’s hand and began walking towards the ticket booth)
Later That Night
(Phone Vibrates) (Blushing) Oh hehehe, it’s Jamel.
(Phone Vibrates) (Blushing) Oh hehehe, it’s Jamel.
“So i was going to say this in person but i got nervous so here it is...we all have flaws but I enjoy them because it lets me see you’re not perfect and it allows me to accept the fact that you’re everything I never dreamed but I think you’re everything I need in life right now. I got a feeling in my stomach that I’ve never felt with any other girl before in my life, not even my ex-fiance but I think it’s my body’s way of telling me I found my missing ribs, I know it’s kind of early to tell but you are my soulmate Audrey, you are ever part of me that I’ve been missing all the years of my life. If I died today, I would die knowing out of all the important things to do in my life i found love and due to me finding love I’ve helped someone, you overcome their biggest obstacle, drinking.
Six Months Later
Six Months Later
Tomorrow is my wedding and I will become Mrs. Jamel White. Jamel and I have since graduated AA and dedicated our lives to each other and overcoming alcohol addiction together. Things are so much easier when you have someone to help. Thank you Jamel, I’ve couldn’t have done it without out you.
Two Years Later
“Audrey baby, I have something to tell you.”
“Yes Babe, What’s up?”
(Eyes slowly watering) “I just came from the doctor and I … have a n advanced form of leukemia and the doctors are going to try everything they can to make me well. Promise me to be strong for me babe, I can’t do it without you.”
(Crying) “ I love you Stink Stink.”
“I love you too Fat Fat.”
Two Weeks Later
Jamel should be out of treatment in a few minutes. Doc said there a 50/50 chance with these things but God I just hope my baby is ok. Trailing my hands along this forever lasting blinding bright white banister, eyes shooting to every room number than, my eyes meet my body at the same time…101B room with too white to be true door, the love of my life is on the other side. Several breathes than I turn this small finally not white object attached to the too white to be true door…
…Sarah Dessen once said, in one of her novellas, I forget which one but she goes on to say, ““You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that’s shocking.” Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now and this one is one of the last (takes one grup of the vodka and throws the bottles) I told you Jamel, I couldn't do it without you.
…Sarah Dessen once said, in one of her novellas, I forget which one but she goes on to say, ““You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that’s shocking.” Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now and this one is one of the last (takes one grup of the vodka and throws the bottles) I told you Jamel, I couldn't do it without you.
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