Stuck In The Shadows by Judy Valentin

Kyle Madison didn’t like parties. There weren’t many parties that he attended back in Indiana, but that was on his own accord. He didn’t like people very much, mainly because they always seemed to be trying to undermine someone. He didn’t like really big social settings, to be honest; he would rather be staying in on this Friday night and watch old movies on Netflix. He didn’t like to be forced to do things that he didn’t want to do, but this was a great opportunity for him. Kyle had the chance to meet with a well-known independent film director, and he knew that his party might help him in the long run. As much as he didn’t want to go, he knew that it was essential for his studies and it was essential for someone who wanted to tell stories. This man that he was meeting was great at telling stories.

Everyone aspired to be something in life, and he was no different. He was aspiring to be a filmmaker, he was working towards that at NYU. Kyle enjoyed telling the untold stories of people, just not his untold story. There were so many stories that would never be heard in this world, and he figured that if he could help at least one of those stories make it out into the universe, he would have done his duty as a person. That seemed to be the main reason why Kyle wanted to pursue filmmaking.

He pulled on his best button down shirt, buttoned it up, and rolled up the sleeves to his elbows. He pulled on a pair of black pants, tucking in his shirt and then finalizing the outfit with his pair of black vans that he saved for special occasions like these. He ran a comb through his thick black hair, adjusted his square framed glasses and headed out of the dorm.

Kyle was met with the cold frigid air of January in New York City; the scarf did nothing to protect his face from the brutal wind. His coat didn’t seem to do much either. The cold air seemed to make its way inside of his trenchcoat and made Kyle cold from the outside of his coat all the way down into his core. Yeah, he definitely would prefer to be inside right now.

When he arrived, the party was already in full swing. The lights were dimmed, the music was blaring and there was no room for coherent thinking with music this loud. There were dance hall lights that were the dark blue shades of night. It was loud, reckless, and fun… to some people. Kyle was not one of those people. People were dancing to the four-four beat of the upbeat pop-music which would slowly fade into a slow song, and then speed up again to a song that people tended to grind their bodies to, their movements were sloppy and clumsy and altogether horrible. The party had started an hour ago, so he wouldn’t have been surprised if the lightweights had already gotten themselves wrecked, he figured that they would feel that in the coming hours of the morning.

He reached his hand into his bag and took out his small hand held camera, he figured that if he was here, he might as well document the situation.The frigid air from outside would enter from the door that was opening and closing, but was soon turned into warm air as it touched the bodies of those who were dancing wildly on the dance floor. He pressed record on his camera.

Kyle’s eyes continued to scan the party through the viewfinder in his camera when his blue eyes seemed to latch on the blonde hair of a girl that he was certain was in his creative writing class. He put down the camera, stopping the recording completely, his eyes seemed to be glued to her. As he continued to look at her, he realized that she was in his class, and that her name was Savannah. Savannah was usually fairly quiet during class, except in class discussions, but as he looked at her right now, he realized that she was quite the party animal. Savannah and Kyle had said a few “hellos” and “goodbyes” to each other, but Kyle doubted that she remembered his name.

Savannah was a theater major at NYU; she was a freshman just like Kyle. He remembered her sharing this on the first day of studies, the first and only day that they sat next to each other before the professor moved seats around. Savannah was really smart, at least Kyle thought so, she wrote eloquently and when people had to share in class, he almost always hoped that Savannah would raise her hand. Of course, she only raised her hand once in awhile. But on those days that she did raise her hand, Kyle seemed to hold on to every one of her words. Her voice held the right amount of levels; the stableness that was needed for the purpose of words not being lost, but the sweetness so that the words were never harsh, and the smoothness so that it sounded as if it was a melody. Was it possible to fall in love with someone’s words? To be able to fall in love with the way they describe things? To fall in love with their voice, was that possible? Kyle didn’t really know about any of that, but he knew that if he had to make friends would anyone, it would probably be Savannah Pruitt.

Kyle continued to look over at Savannah when she turned around to look in his general direction. Kyle’s face flushed; embarrassed that she had caught him looking at her. However, in his defense, she was one of the prettiest girls at NYU, at least in his eyes. So, he couldn’t help but look at her. Savannah’s lips curved into a smile before waving him over. Kyle shyly shook his head, mouthing, “I don’t dance” to her, as if she could be able to read his lips from that far away. Savannah laughed softly, making her way towards Kyle.

“What did you say? I couldn’t see from over there.” She shouted over the loud music that seemed to rock the floor of the party hall, lightly moving her hand to the dance floor to indicate that she was talking about where she was on the dance floor.

Kyle’s words stuck in his throat. The whole room seemed to fade away when he was looking at her, and he didn’t understand it and he would soon learn that he would never understand it. They were the only two people in the entire world that seemed to exist, this kind of private space between the two of them. Why did that happen whenever she was in his presence? She was just a person. That’s all she was. A person, a girl with a beating heart, just like him.

“I said I don’t dance.” He commented, loud enough that she could hear him over the music. At this remark, Savannah let out a small laugh.

“Oh, come on. Everyone dances. Not everyone is good at it. But everyone dances, Kyle.” She grabbed his hand, pulling him along to the dance floor. Halfway to the dance floor, Kyle processed that she remembered his name. “Oh my god, she remembered my name,” he thought to himself. A small grin stretched itself out on his face. He was snapped back into reality when he realized that they were standing in the middle of the crowded dance floor.

“I-uhm... Savannah, I don’t dance.” He managed to choke out, his left hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck in a nervous manner. He wasn’t bad at dancing, but he really didn’t want to dance in front of all these people. All the watchful eyes in the room made him all kinds of nervous.

“Everyone dances, Kyle, at least they do with me.” She smiled at him. A nice genuine smile. That smile could light up the whole city if that kind of technology existed. Global warming would no longer be a problem. It was that kind of smile that made your stomach twist in knots, but at the exact same time, it made you feel relaxed. Savannah could do that to a person. She could take all of their troubles away with just a simple smile, or a simple word or two to calm their nerves.

She tugged at his hand again as the song changed to another song with a much more upbeat tempo. Kyle once again shook his head. “I’m bad at it.” He explained once again. He didn’t want to let go of her hand, but he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too, if he wanted to walk away from her.

“One dance, Madison.” She smiled whilst pulling him close to her, dancing to the beat of the music. Kyle didn’t just reluctantly dance that one dance with her, he slowly forgot that he was fighting the entire idea. Technically, it was one dance, because they did not stop moving nor did they separate, they just kept going. It was as if it was one long song that they had never realized separated into different songs.

“See, you’re not terrible.” She said as she broke out of their embrace to walk over to the bar, he followed her. They finally made it through the crowd of people and he leaned against the bar. She bought herself a water bottle. “You’re not even bad, in fact, you’re kinda good, Kyle.”

He grinned once again, trying to hide the blush from her compliments. She smacked his arm playfully but gave him a nod anyway. He laughed softly as he bought a water bottle for himself. Savannah turned away from him for a second to look over at her friends who were calling her name obnoxiously over the loud music, they were loud enough that she heard them. She held up a finger to tell them to hold on.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you in class on Monday, right?” She asked him. He nodded. He watched her as she walked away from him and walked out of the party hall. He felt the breeze from the door once more, and with that she was gone.

He rested against the wall once again. He closed his eyes, listening to the loud thumping of the music pulsing through his veins, trying to catch his breath that he had lost through his continuous dance with Savannah.

Kyle had not stopped thinking about Savannah since Friday night, it felt kind of pathetic to him. He didn’t understand why she had this kind of hold on him, he was supposed to keep to himself while he was here, (focus) not try and woo some girl who he danced with only once. (Although she was much more than that, and he knew it.)

Throughout the weekend, he found himself wondering what her favorite color was, what her favorite movie was, what made her tick? What made her angry? What made her upset? He just didn’t understand why she was implanted in his mind without any intention of moving.

Kyle didn’t even meet with the director at the party, so essentially he went out of his way for nothing. Normally he would be upset about that, but not this time.

On Monday morning, Kyle was heading back from his creative writing class. He sat next to Savannah during class today, he snuck looks at her while she wrote in her journal. He constantly found himself thinking that she was beautiful, and he didn’t understand how anyone at campus had not taken her up as a girlfriend yet, although, he didn’t really mind. He still didn’t understand what it was about her that was so captivating to him.

She read aloud today, some piece of her freewriting that included her love of New York and how different it was from California. She truly was a gifted writer, in the way that he wasn’t. She expressed her feelings through her writing, Kyle tended to express other people’s emotions. He understood those much more than he understood his own.

During class, Kyle found himself detaching from reality and he found himself thinking of ways to ask Savannah out when he was hit with the harsh reality... he had never asked anyone out before. He never had to, he didn’t like anyone back home, all the girls were loud and unintelligent. “What if she rejects me?” he thought to himself. “What if she thinks I’m annoying and she only danced with me out of pity?” He continued his thoughts before the teacher caught his attention when she asked him to answer a question about the format of a plot in a work of fiction. His problems would have to wait.

Kyle reached his dorm, opening the door and hoping to the universe that his roommate, Matt, was in their room. Matt and Kyle didn’t exactly talk nor were they friends, in fact, they had never said more than twenty words to each other in the few months that the both of them had been here, but Kyle knew that Matt could help him out. Matt was a “ladies man” on campus, he was always with a different girl.  To be honest, no one understood how they were placed together and how they had stayed together in the same room. One girl told Matt that she was surprised that they hadn’t “killed each other by now.” But Matt wasn’t all that bad, in fact, he was hardly ever in the room, so it was impossible for the two of them to get on each others nerves.

He burst through the door, looking around, “Oh, Matt you’re here, good!” Matt was across the room from him on his bed, unlacing his cleats.

Matt picked up his head, his face still flushed, from what Kyle assumed was from a work out with the soccer team, he looked at him incredulously, raising his eyebrows, “Ya feelin’, okay, bro?”  

Kyle nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine, I need help.” Kyle seemed out of breath, but that was just because he was extremely nervous. What if Matt chose not to help him? Then he was truly on his own.

“Alright, shoot.” Matt walked over to their closet, tossing his jacket in there along with his cleats which happened to be caked with dirt.

Kyle was silent for a second as he didn’t know how to spit it out, here he was about to ask Matt for help and they weren’t even friends. Just people who lived together.

“Kyle, spit it out, man.”

“Alright, so there’s this girl...” His voice trailed off.

“Is she hot?” Matt asked immediately.

Kyle shot him a look.

“Sorry, sorry.” Matt apologized, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Anyway,” Kyle continued, all the while rolling his eyes, “There’s this girl and she’s really beautiful and really smart and I...”

“Ya wanna ask her out?” Matt leaned back in his bed, getting comfortable. Kyle had realized that Matt wasn’t one to beat around the bush, he liked to get directly to the point.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Kyle also got situated on his bed after pulling off his converse which happened to be tearing and filthy from how old they were, ultimately tossing them across the room.

“Does she make ya nervous?”

Kyle simply nodded, “I only really talked to her on Friday, I mean, we sat next to each other in class today, but it was a free write and I didn’t really want to disturb he--”

“Kyle, man, you’re rambling. You’re letting me know all this extra shit I don’t really need to know.”

“Sorry.” Kyle exhaled. “Okay, what do I do?”

“Why can’t you just be straightforward with her?”

“Gee, why didn’t I think of that.” Kyle answered, his voice was just covered in sarcasm. It just happened to be all he turned to when he didn’t feel like letting other people know his true emotions, almost as if it was a defense mechanism.

Matt glared at him, “Okay, then just be creative if you can’t be straightforward.”

“Like what, do I send her flowers?”

“No, that’s sappy, and reserved for girlfriends.” Matt informed him.

Kyle groaned, “Why is this so damn complicated!”

“It’s not, you’re just making it complicated, man.”

“I am not! I just can’t... I just...” Kyle ran his hands through his hair, exhaling once again, “It’s not easy for me to ask out a girl. Nevertheless a beautiful one like Savannah.” He put his head in his hands, trying to think over everything that Matt had told him, which, in reality, wasn’t very much.

“Dude, just like... send her a note.”

Kyle’s head popped up, “A note?”

“Yeah, a note.”

“Does that really work?”

“Yeah, chicks think that it’s romantic or whatever.”

Kyle didn’t understand how Matt referred to girls as chicks and still got laid.

On Wednesday morning, Kyle walked down to his creative writing class. The small note felt heavy in his pocket, and he was more nervous than usual. The note was scribbled in his messy handwriting and it read, “Do you want to go out for lunch sometime?” He took a deep breath as he took the few steps into the classroom after he turned the doorknob. He walked to the front, taking a seat next to Savannah. He sighed inaudibly. He got out his notebook and looked at the board for their ten minute free-write assignment.

Their teacher’s class basically went like this. You would get a free write -- write for ten minutes. Look over it. Revise. Re-write it. Mini lesson. Fix your errors. Write again. And then share with your peers for “constructive criticism.” Kyle thought that any criticism wasn’t exactly constructive, it was all detrimental in its own way.
Kyle looked at the prompt for today, if you could do something and not fail... what would it be and why? Instantly, Kyle’s mind went to winning an award for a film, but the second thing his mind went to? Asking out Savannah and having a secure chance with her.
He wrote in his notebook for a long time, the seconds feeling like hours to him. The silence in the room was deafening. It was usually a nice change to the chaos of the campus, but not today as the only thing on his mind was the heavy note in his pocket.
After the mini lesson portion of class, Kyle felt his heart heavy in his chest. He felt as though he was going to throw up. Savannah made him so damn nervous, he had to keep reminding himself that she was just a person. The worst thing that could happen is that she could say no, but then again, that in itself was terrible news.
Kyle peeked over at Savannah, whose blonde hair was covering her face as she crossed out lines in her work. Kyle’s eyes were still on her as she looked over at him, her lips curving into a small smile.
“Can I help you?” She whispered, putting her pen down.
Kyle shook his head shyly, “Keep writing, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
He watched as she moved her eyes back down to the paper, her pen moving against the page in fluent cursive once again. At this point, he decided that he should begin to revise what he had written before the professor called him out once again.
“Eyes on your paper, Mr. Madison.” His professor snapped.
Kyle blushed, embarrassed that the professor had caught him looking at Savannah. He looked back down at the page whilst moving his pen back against the page. However, he wasn’t truly writing anything, he just wanted it to seem as though he was busy.
During the “constructive criticism” part of class, Savannah volunteered to share what she had written. It was then that Kyle took the opportunity to take the note out of his pocket and put it on her desk.
“Okay... So uhm...” Savannah took a deep breath, “If I could do anything and not fail, I would tell my mom to stop putting me on a pedestal. I don’t like people treating me as if I’m a perfect China doll who cannot do any wrong. I’ve had people put me on a platform my entire life, and I hate it. The pressure from my family and people that know me is enough to take a toll on me. I do not like when people decide that I can do everything, and that I have superhuman abilities. People forget that I’m human, too. They forget that I have emotions, and that I have thoughts and wants and needs. I don’t want people to forget that about me. I want them to remember that I am not SuperWoman. I have a beating heart, too. I have things that I need to take care of. So, if I could do anything and not fail -- I would ask everyone to stop putting me under pressure to be perfect, because nothing is perfect. Even the most perfect picture has a few smudges and bends in it.”

She took a deep breath as she closed her notebook and listened to the feedback from their classmates. They had told her that it would be a great piece if it did not sound like she was ranting, but she did not get upset at the criticism as most people did, in fact, she took it graciously.

That was the thing about Savannah, she spoke her mind, but she always happened to be open to other people’s opinions.

Kyle looked down at his page, tapping his pen on the page quietly, he needed something to focus on. He listened to his other classmates share their pieces before he felt the piece of paper being pushed back onto his notebook. He peeked over at Savannah who gave him a small smile.
Kyle opened up the paper that was folded neatly into a square, and in her cursive handwriting, there it was in blue pen... A simple “yes.”
He tried to fight the smile that was trying to make its way onto his face, but it seemed to be a difficult challenge that was posed to him. He looked down at the desk, trying to contain himself. Of course, in the end, the smile won out and broke out across his face.
The professor dismissed them, Kyle said “goodbye” to Savannah and slipped the note back in his pocket. And suddenly, it wasn’t so heavy anymore. In fact, it didn’t feel like it weighed anything at all.

It was getting warmer as it was near the end of February, almost March. The weather was not the only thing that was changing though, Kyle raised his hand more often in class, he had made four new friends, and he and Savannah were hanging out a lot more than usual. It would have been safe to say that they were more than “just friends.”

He and Savannah were sitting together in Creative Writing, not that it came as a surprise to anyone anymore. He wrote a list of things in his journal that connected to the prompt today. He saw a pink post-it suddenly appear on his paper, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Starbucks after class?

He smiled as he looked down at it before writing back.

Is that even really a question?

He stuck it on her notebook.

Yes, now answer it.

Well, you should know the answer.

I don’t read minds, Madison :P

I’m always up for a Starbucks trip :P (And you should read minds, it’s fun.)

We all can’t have superhero powers like you.

I think they can be transferrable.

He placed the note on her desk, continuing his list in his notebook. Their professor had asked what it is that they fear in life. Kyle seemed to have a pretty small list, but they were really big fears.

He peeked over at Savannah who put her hand over her paper, muttering a “nope,” whilst turning his head in the other direction and turning around in her seat so that the notebook was on the opposite side and he couldn’t peek at it.

“Oh come on, why not?” He whispered.

“I don’t want you to make fun of me.”

“I wouldn’t make fun of you.”
“I don’t know you that well, so I don’t know that, now do I?” She turned her eyes back to the page and wrote once more.
It was true, even though he and Savannah had been spending an enormous amount of time together, she only knew the basics about him. Kyle wasn’t a really open person. Savannah had told Kyle about her family life and about her home life, and Kyle just seemed to always dodge the subject completely. It made him emotional and he hated being emotional in front of people. It wasn’t exactly something that seemed appealing to him. It was as if purposely deciding to put your hand on a stove, that wasn’t something that someone with common sense would do.
He sighed and continued to write in his notebook.
Why won’t you tell me anything?
I’m not exactly the type to share.
Well, that’s not fair to me. I’ve told you everything you wanted to know.
You’re more open than I am, that’s what I like about you.
You need to be open with me. That’s how relationships work.
So what are you saying? That this relationship won’t work unless I peel back all of my layers?
Not all of them... but at least some would be nice.
I’ll think about it.
Why are you being an ass about it?
I’m not being an ass, it’s my business, Savannah.
Savannah did not respond. She left right as the teacher dismissed them, not waiting for Kyle.

Kyle walked into his dorm, tossing his bag on his bed as he let out a loud groan. He kicked off his converse, putting them in the closet.

“Woah, you’re actually back after class?” Matt sat up in his bed.
“I don’t want to talk about it, if that’s what you’re getting at.” He grumbled.
“Well, now we have to talk about it.”
“No we don’t.”
“Yeah, we kinda do.” Matt sat on Kyle’s bed, well, more like plopped onto his bed. “What’s wrong, bro?”
“I got Savannah mad at me.”
“Oooh. What’d you do?”
“Why do you automatically assume it’s my fault?” He asked defensively.
“Because you said, ‘I got Savannah mad at me.’”
“Oh.”
“What’d you do?”
“She’s mad because I won’t talk about my life in Indiana with her.”
Matt sighed, “You have a lot to learn.”
“What do you mean?”
“Girls like to feel as if they’re... included in our lives.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Damn, bro. You really are clueless.” He shook his head, taking a deep breath.
“Can you just tell me what you mean.”
“Okay, girls don’t like to feel like if we’re keeping secrets from them. They like to feel as if we trust them enough to share. So, if that means sharing your home life, then you have to share your home life. There’s no way around that.”
“So... in order to have a successful relationship I have to share my life story with her?”
“Pretty much.”
“Guys don’t have much say in relationships... do they?”
“No, not really, no. At least not in successful ones.”
“This is a pain in the ass.”
“Why is it so hard to share with her that you’re from Indiana and you have no friends back home? I mean, you shared it with me.”
“You’re not Savannah.”
“I could’ve judged you.”
“Again, you’re not Savannah.”
Matt sighed, “Just go talk to her and tell her what you told me about Modoc and your old school and the people who were bastards to you.”
“What if she thinks less of me?”
“Then guess what?”
“What?”
“She’s not the right girl... You’re a great dude.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.” Kyle got up from the bed, pulling on his converse. “Oh, uhm... You’re cool, too.”
“Really, people think I’m an asshole.”
“Well... I never said you weren’t one, I just said that you were cool.”
“A person can be both?”
Kyle nodded, “Of course they can, but I’ve never met a person who was both until I came here.”
“Alright, go get your girl before you go back to the ‘I’m gonna stay home for the rest of my life’ Kyle again.”
“Shut up.” Kyle laughed softly, shaking his head. “This is what I meant about you being both.”
“Goddamnit, Kyle. Go get Savannah.”
“Alright, alright, I’m going, jeeze. If you need anything, I have my phone.” Kyle walked out of the dorm back to Savannah’s.

Kyle walked down to the corridor where all the girls dorms were. He could not believe that he was going to go tell Savannah about Modoc, he wanted to just start over here. But the cat was let out of the bag when he could not make up a story about a good life back home, and when he told Matt about his life one night that he couldn’t sleep.

The girls gave him looks that basically read, “Who the hell are you?” Kyle had never been to the girl dorms before, they always met outside of the dorms. Kyle looked at the room numbers for a long time before realizing he was going in the wrong direction, he let out a frustrated groan before walking down the corridor once again. Finally, he found her room and knocked three times.
He waited, there was no answer. So he knocked again.
“Go away.” He heard Savannah’s muffled voice through the door.
“Come on, I came all the way here.”
“Your dorm is literally one building over.”
“I still came all the way here. Please open the door?”
“Why should I?”
“Don’t be difficult. Open the damn door.” He grumbled.
He leaned against the frame of the door, waiting for her to get out of bed and open the door. She didn’t open the door for a while, clearly ignoring him, so he took a seat on the floor. About an hour later, he heard the creak of the door.
“You’re still here?” She asked, he watched as the corners of her mouth twitched. He assumed that she was fighting the beginning of a smile.
“I needed to tell you important things.”
“Oh yeah, what important things? ”
“I’ll tell you if you let me in.”
Savannah looked at him for a minute, clearly debating, she sighed and stepped aside, letting him inside.
Kyle got up from the floor and walked into her dorm. Her room was cleaner than the room he shared with Matt. There were no shoes thrown on the floor, and everything seemed to be locked away somewhere. There didn’t even seem like there was anyone living here, the only indication that people lived there were the posters on the wall.
“Oh, I like them too.” He said, pointing to a Green Day poster.
“I already knew that, is that all you had to tell me, because if that’s what it was, you can leave.” She had her arms crossed over her chest defiantly as she looked at him. He was watching her, too.
“Okay, you’re clearly still angry.”
“Oh, really, I hadn’t felt it.”
“No need for the sarcasm.”
“There is need for it, you don’t want to tell me anything.”
“I’m about to tell you, calm down.”
Savannah took a small breath, sitting on the edge of her bed, her arms falling off to her sides. “Okay, go ahead.”
Kyle sat on the floor by her bed.
“Why are you on the... nevermind.” She sighed softly with a shake of her head.
“I like the floor, it’s more comfortable for me.”
“Why?”
“When I was in school, I was bullied a lot, so when I got home from school, my mom would leave cookies outside of my door. I would sit in the doorway between the hallway and my room and just eat the cookies and try to calm down. And suddenly, it became the only way that I could open up to people.”
“You were bullied?”
“Yeah, my whole middle school life, and then high school came and I just shut everyone out.”
“Why were you bullied?”
“Well, kids are mean, Savannah.”
“But what did they specifically say?” She asked, clearly trying to urge him to continue with his story.
“I was the ‘freak’ because my Dad fled town.” He continued, he started to feel himself begin to ramble. An unstoppable amount of word vomit that couldn’t help but spilling itself.
“That’s stupid. Come here, sit on the bed.” She told him, grabbing his arm lightly.
Kyle looked at her before reluctantly getting up from the floor and sitting on her bed, still leaving some space between them.
“I’m sorry about urging you to talk about things with me... You should talk about things when you’re ready, not when I want to hear them.” She sighed softly.
“It’s fine. I can talk about them.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I’ll just let you know the basics.”
Savannah nodded softly, her head plopping down onto his shoulder. His body instantly relaxed. It was always like this, whenever they made contact, his body would instantly relax.
“I live in a really small town called Modoc, and it’s in Indiana. The population is only about two-hundred people. I am an only child, I don’t talk to my family, I’m close to my mom, I was bullied in Middle school, I fear death, my Converse are really old and I keep them because my dad got them for me...” He paused as he tried to think, his voice no louder than a whisper but his words flying out of his mouth at a million miles a minute.
“That’s enough.” Savannah murmured.
“No, there’s more I th--”
“Kyle.. that’s enough.”
“But--”
Savannah laughed softly, putting her hand over his mouth, “No more, Madison.”
Kyle nodded reluctantly, “You sure? Because I think I can think of more things.”
“No more sharing.” She said softly.
“Savannah, I have a question for you.”
“Yeah?” She looked up at him.
“Why do you call me Madison?”
“It’s the first thing I ever remember someone calling you.” Kyle nodded at her response.
Savannah wrapped her arms around his neck, moving closer to him. She buried her face in his neck and closed her eyes. Kyle smiled softly as he snaked his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He kicked off his converse, which seemed so out of place on her clean floor. He leaned back against her wall and they lied there in silence for a long amount of time.
He felt Savannah rest her head against his chest, and he reached his hand up to run his fingers through her hair. There was nothing for him to say. There was nothing for anyone to say. The silence was nice from the chaos that he had gone through that day, the silence allowed him to think about this moment, savor this moment.

As much as Kyle wanted to tell himself that it would have lasted forever, it didn’t. Nothing lasts forever, especially not love. But this was a love that he didn’t regret. Savannah brought out a side of him that no one would have possibly known if he did not take that risk. Risks in life bring you closer to being who you’re destined to be.

Kyle would never regret that Freshman year of college. That June they split their separate ways, kissed one final time, and held one more embrace before it was over for good. But Kyle did not revert to who he was before Savannah because that old Kyle was gone, he was replaced with the new Kyle.

He was the Kyle Madison with a voice, with friends, with the desire to go out and do things. That would have never been possible without Savannah, and he does not let her forget it. He constantly reminds her that he has her to thank for him coming out of his shell, he told her that she showed him that it was okay to “express your feelings vocally and tell people how you feel whenever you feel it.” She showed him that it was okay to disagree with people. She told him that “everyone has a mission in life”, and that her mission just happened to bring him out of his shell.

Not only did she bring him out of his shell, but she completely obliterated the shell that he was hiding in. The old Kyle was definitely gone. He no longer wanted people to be nice to him simply because they thought that he believed that they could do no wrong. He was still the person who prefered to stay home, but it wasn’t painful for him to go out with friends once in awhile. Kyle was new and improved, and even his mother saw the difference when he returned home for the summer.

Because of Savannah, Kyle believed that you’re supposed to meet new people in your life, each of them for a reason. Whether or not that purpose is everlasting is irrelevant, the only thing that matters is that they appear, that they make an impact on who you are, and what you do in life. The relationship with Savannah definitely did not last forever, but that didn’t mean that it was unimportant. The length of something does not impact its significance.